Paige and Lizi Go to Hogwarts
by LadyxLaLa
Summary: Um... when I find something to put here I will. xD
1. Chapter 1

Lizi hopped out of the Hogwarts Express train dressed in a poorly made Hufflepuff robe, a yellow and black scarf, and black wizard's hat. Her accessories consisted of a very noticeably fake plastic wand, a huge pair of Harry Potter glasses, and a stick-on lightning bolt scar.

"Paige, pssssst, Paige!" she whisper-screamed, "We're… at… HOGWARTS!" Lizi pushed up her circular glasses and scratched her fake scar, which chipped.

Paige sprung out of the train dressed in the exact same attire- exception, she was wearing Gryffindor robes rather than Hufflepuff.

"I know! And to think, they all thought we were actually German exchange witches, coming for our first year in Hogwarts!" she said with a giggle.

There was a short pause where both girls' eyes darted to either side of them, poorly contained smiles spreading across their faces.

"Which, of course," Lizi said slowly, voice shaking with laughter, "we are."

"Yeah… 'course we are…," Paige agreed, speaking in a German accent. Both waited a split second before bursting into muted laughter, earning them quite a few long, disturbed stares from the new students around them.

Paige immediately slapped her fingers over her mouth, and Lizi quickly followed suite, shaking hard as she attempted to control her laughter.

"Okay okay, ready?" Lizi squeaked.

"Yes!"

"GOGOGO!"

She began racing through the maze of students, Paige following closely behind and giggling loudly.

Lizi and Paige carefully took their time getting out of the boats that had taken them across the river. Their luggage had been brought over with them, and each grabbed a very, very large suitcase.

Then, with the speed of… well, as fast as you can go while lugging a suitcase five times your own weight, the girls ran to the castle known as Hogwarts.

Both stood, heads bent back, mouths gapping in awe.

"…Lizi?" Paige whispered.

"Uh-huh?"

"Have we died?"

"And gone to heaven?" Lizi finished for her.

"Yeah."

"Then, yes, Paige, I think we have," Lizi whispered.

"Or maybe we're just standing before Hogwarts in awe, because we actually got here," Paige smiled and looked at the other girl.

Lizi shrugged, returning the smile. "Well, either way, we're here- ready to go meet our Heavenly Hogwarts god?"

Paige shot forward this time, leaving Lizi to jog after her, in all her lazy glory.

"I WANNA BE HUFFLEPUFF!" Lizi shouted eagerly.

"GRYFFINDOR!" Paige shouted back.

They ran through the double doors and…

Lizi was instantly hitting the ground and squealing. She'd slipped on a dropped wand, which now sent her sliding on her back down the hallway, eyes wide in horror.

Paige was not far behind. "Lizi? Where'd you g-OOOOOOH!" she shouted as she too slipped on the deadly wand and was catapulted on her back and sent sliding down the hallway.

Paige was soon sliding right next to Lizi. Both were horrified, both knew they were going to die, both were screaming…

Until they looked at each other's facing, and both began cracking up. And then the shouting began

"OOOOO, I BET I CAN BEAT YOU, PAIGE!"

"BEAT ME WHERE?"

"WHEREVER WE STOP!"

"OH, I BET YOU CAN'T!"

"OH YEAH?"

"YEAH!"

"WELL, YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN, GRYFFY!"

"I DUN'T THINK SO, HUFFYPUFFY!"

"Huffy… puffy?"

"YEAH THAT'S WHAT I SAID!"

"OH IT'S ON NOW! EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S JUST HUFFY!"

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!?!"

"I DUNNO!"

And it went on like this all through the halls, to the point where they were shouting things like 'HOOPLA!' and 'YOU'RE SUCH A GANGSTER, PAIGE!'. Until they saw their stop, anyways.

"I GOT DANDR- uh, Paige?"

"Whut?"

"Is that… the Great Hall?"

"I… I think so…"

"Uh-Ooooh…"

The two girls began screaming, and the people that had gathered there to see the housing of the first years split like the Red Sea.

"WE'RE GUNNA HIT THE WALL!" Lizi shouted.

They could see the stone wall now, but just when they thought they would hit it for sure, someone in a purple robe stepped in between them and the wall.

"NO, WE'RE GUNNA CRASH INTO DUMBLE-DORE!" Paige shouted.

The girls screamed even louder, alerting Dumbledore, who stepped quickly out of the way while shouting, "HOLY LEMON DROPS!"

A split second later, both of them crashed into the wall with a thud.

"…Ow…" Lizi muttered.

"I take that back… we're still gunna hit the wall," Paige whispered.

Both then looked up to see Dumbledore's upside down face as he looked at them in concern,

"German foreign exchange students coming to Hogwarts for their first year?" he said skeptically.

Paige and Lizi glanced at each other and spoke simultaneously, "Jah."

Paige and Lizi now stood amongst several students, both forming many new bruises as they impatiently awaited their turn on the stool. They gasped in amazement as the hat was brought out.

"Psst, Paige!" Lizi hissed.

"Yes?"

"Do you still have that camera?"

"Yes, why would I not?"

"Take a picture of the hat!"

"Ooo, ooo, okay!"

Paige brought out her camera excitedly, and began to alter the image to perfection.

"You zoomed in too much!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Oh… well, now I have!"

"Now you've zoomed out too much!"

"Will you leave this to me?"

"Nu!"

Suddenly, a ray of purple light zapped the camera, and it burst into ashes, silencing the girls. They looked around to see THE Professor Snape glaring coldly at them.

"Paige! Paige it's HIM, it's really HIM!" Lizi whispered, flailing her hands around excitedly. "You think he'll give me… detention?!?" She squealed excitedly, Paige staring blankly at her.

"Okay, students, okay, calm down, now! Time for the hat!" Dumbledore said briskly, turning just as Professor McGonagall cam in with the hat.

"Lizi, she looks even older in person!" Paige whispered.

"I know! It's amazing!"

It was only then that the two girls realized they'd been talking out loud, and both received a cold glare from McGonagall.

"Hehe… oops…sorry!" Lizi whispered to her, and only got a harder glare.

"Let's begin!" Dumbledore said quickly.

Lizi stood, bouncing up and down, as they called name after name. Finally, a name she knew very well was called.

"Paige …Z-something!"

Paige squealed excitedly and raced forward. She almost sat on the hat, but they pulled it away before she managed to do so.

As soon as the hat was on her head, it called out a house. "GRYFFINDOR!"

"YEAUUUUHHHH!" Paige squealed, rushing over to Lizi rather than the Gryffs.

"GUR', DID YO HEA DAT? I'M A GRYYYYYFF!" she screamed.

"SHEWT, NO WAY, GUUUUR'!"

"Um.. Ms. Zimmerman? The Gryffindors are over there…," Dumbledore murmured.

Paige froze where she was and slowly turned to her fellow Gryffindors. "Oh… right! I knew that," she muttered awkwardly. She took her place amongst them, and there was a short silence before Dumbledore continued the naming.

"Gretchen Berhman."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Fredick Forrester."

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Darian Hartchester."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Lizi H"  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Lizi ran forward, literally pouncing on the stool. She put her hands on her lap and waited excitedly.

The hat shook itself when the Professor began to lower him down on Lizi's head. "No, no, I don't need to touch this one to know… HUFFLEPUFF!"

"SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!"

Lizi ran and took her place amongst the Hufflepuff happily. She glanced to either side of her. On her left, a fat, tall boy with a uni-brow and gorilla shape. On her right, a slim, moderately sized girl. She chose that one.

"Wazzup, my fellow Huffy? My Homie? My G Dawg? Home Skillet Bizkit? My-?"

"Will you shu'up? Are you even German? Or a witch for that matter?"

Lizi paused. "Uhh… jah, I am!"

"Then say something in German." The girl was glaring angrily at her.

So, Lizi, with her not-so-amazing memory skills, pulled out the few words she knew in German and put them together.

"Angebar, balgy, egoistic, dumm dings," She said proudly.

"You just called me a Bigheaded, bratty, selfish, and stupid thingamajig," the girl snapped angrily.

"Uhhh… because… uhh… YOUR MOM!"

The rest of the day, the girls followed around their houses, pretending to know just what they were doing. By the end of the day, they were exhausted.

As Lizi crawled into her totally awesome bed, she pulled out her silenced cell phone and called Paige.

Paige, on the other line, was lying in bed, staring blankly at her cell phone screen. She answered immediately.

"Isn't it weird how we're pretending to be first years when we're thirteen?"

"Yeah.. But oh well! WE'RE HERE, AREN'T WE PAIGE?"

"YE-UHHHH!"

Short pause.

"Are you asleep yet?" Lizi whispered.

"No." Short pause. "Are you?"

"No." Short pause. "Are you asleep now?"

"No." Short pause. "Are YOU asleep now?"

And it went on like this for about an hour, until the pauses became longer and longer, and both passed out with their cell phones balanced on their ears.

Lizi: Okay, hold up. Lady L.? Yeah, um… doesn't this seem a little childish, even for Paige and I?

Paige: Yeah um…

Lady Lala: Oh, please, you two! This is just the beginning! Let everyone think they know you! Come on!

Lizi: Yeah but…

Paige: We have no choice, Lizi.

Lady Lala: EXACTLY!

SPECIAL NOTE: Yes, I DO love Harry Potter. But I love doing things like this too. MUAHA. 


	2. Chapter 2

It was the second day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and Lizi and Paige were in their first class of the day; Potions.

Paige stood at the old wooden table staring blankly at her cauldron and strange ingredients, softly humming the Sailor Moon theme song. Not knowing what else to do, Paige nudged Lizi in the ribs, with her elbow. Lizi, who ignored Paige, was smiling and waving to a cute boy a few rows ahead.

"Psst, Lizi!" whisper-screamed Paige.

"Geez, what?!" answered Lizi, finally tearing her eyes away from the boy.

"How are we supposed to do this?" asked Paige, sticking her hands out toward the cauldron. Wanting to impress the hot guy, Lizi said, "Pshh...It's very, erm, simple, really. All you have to do is this---..." At that Lizi began emptying random bottles' contents into her cauldron. Mumbling under her breath she went on mixing.

"...Then you put this thingy in with this stuff and stir it to the right and...voila!" said Lizi with a wide smile, waving and winking at the guy.

"Wow, that's actually pretty good..." Paige said, amazed. "Yeah, I'm goooood."

All of a sudden, there was a giant BOOM and the entire room was covered in purple fuzz. Emerging a minute later from the fuzzy purple puff of smoke, Paige and Lizi coughed and hacked. Seeing each others face's (and everything else) covered in purple, they burst out laughing.

Paige, spitting fuzz out of her mouth, pointed at Lizi and cried, "You...hahaha...you look like a...Pigmy Puff!" Barely able to answer through her laughing, Lizi simply answered, "Yo mama."

Suddenly, a dark shadow was cast over the two girls (who were now laughing so hard that they were lying on the ground, holding their sides). Lizi and Paige were completely oblivious kept on giggling insanely, until they were swiftly yanked up to their feet by the back of their now-covered-with-strange-purple-fuzz cloaks. Their laughter subdued, and their feet now planted firmly to the ground, the girls slowly turned their little purple heads around to come face-to-face with none other than...Snape. Both of their eyes popped out of their heads and glowed like huge white orbs as Snape scowled down at the two fuzzy munchkins. Lizi leaned toward Paige, and whispered out of the side of her mouth, "Paige! It's him! It's really Snape!"

Paige answered back, "I know! He really is pasty, isn't he?"

"But mighty tasty!" giggled Lizi, as if Snape wasn't even there.

The girls' conversation was cut short as Snape's pale face started turning red with anger.

"ENOUGH!", he bellowed.

Paige and Lizi turned away from each other and looked at Severus tentatively.

"Woah," started Lizi, calmly.

"Take a chill pill." finished Paige.

"Yeah, can you say anger management?" they said, rolling their eyes.

"Lighten up, Snapey-Poo." smiled Paige, patting him on the shoulder.

Snape gruftly thrust her hand from his body, breathing heavily with clenched teeth.

"You...girls..." he began, through gritted teeth, "detention! Saturday night! Nine o' clock. Here"  
Shoulders shaking with fury, he pointed to the door.

"OOO! SHERADES! I LOVE THIS GAME!" cried Lizi, happily.

Paige coughed." No, Lizi, I think he wants us to leave..." muttered Paige, her eyes darting around the room.

"Ohhh...right, right..."

Skipping down a hallway, linked arm in arm, Paige and Lizi merrily sang, "WE GOT DETENTION, WE GOT DETENTION! FROM SNAPEY! FROM SNAPEY! YAY, YAY, YAY!" Turning a corner, Paige's head collided with something hard, while Lizi's smacked into something a bit softer. Suddenly, the ground came rushing up to meet them.

"Oww...my head.." groaned Paige.

"My leg..." moaned Lizi.

"My whole bloody body.." whined...a guy's voice?!

Paige and Lizi's eyes shot open to see...Harry Potter! Jumping to their feet, Paige screamed,

"OHMYGOSH! LIZI, WE JUST SQUISHED HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER!"

"I KNOW! WE ACTUALLY TOUCHED THE ALMIGHTY ONE! THE BOY WHO LIVED!" squealed Lizi.

As the girls jumped around in a circle chanting, "WE GOT DETENTION WITH SNAPEY, AND SMASHED HARRY POTTER!", Harry sat on the ground in a daze, staring wide-eyed at the them.

"HEY! LOOK!"

"WHAT?"

"HE'S STARING AT US LIKE WE'RE IDIOTS!"

"OOO! HE IS, HE IS, HE IS!"

"Ahem..." interrupted Harry, "Who are you?"

"I'm Paige!"

"And I'm Lizi!" they shouted, jumping forward, doing the Sailor Moon sign.

Giving them a very disturbed look, Harry slowly stood up.

"Well, it's been nice..meeting you...I, um, have to go to the...thing.." he said, pointing over his shoulder.

"Can we come?" asked Lizi, innocently.

"Erm..uhh..."

"Great!"

"Crap." Harry muttered under his breath.

Glancing at his watch he began walking.

"It's dinner time. Let's head for the Great Hall." Once they were there, they followed Harry excitedly to a seat. Nearing the Gryffindor table, they caught sight of Ron Weasly and Hermione Granger. As Harry sat down next to Ron, Paige and Lizi placed themselves across from the trio.

"Who are they, mate?" asked Ron, checking the girls out.

"Meet Paige and Lizi." Harry rolled his eyes.

Ron leaned over and whispered in Harry's ear, "German's are cuuute!" Harry rolled his eyes and gave Ron an exasperated sigh.

"Well...ladies...My name is Ron Weasley." Ron said, sticking his hand out for them to shake, "And this is Hermione Granger.", nodding his head in Hermione's direction.

"Nice to meet you," replied Hermione, flashing them a wide smile, "You both are the German exchange students, right?"

"Umm...ja." said Lizi, looking sideways at Paige.

"Eet is very nice to meeet yoou, too!" giggled Paige.

"How about after dinner we show you two around? And Paige, you can come up to the common room with us!" smiled Hermione, kindly.

"Thank you so much!" squealed the girls in unison.

After a full evening of seeing the castle and sitting by the warm common room fire, the girls finally turned in for the night. Paige got out her cell phone and dialed Lizi's number.

"GUESS WHAT, LIZI!"

"WHAT?"

"HERMIONE LOOKS SMART EVEN WHEN SHE SLEEPS! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!"

"NO WAY!"

"YES WAY!"

"Hey Paige?"

"Mmm?"

"I found this really weird journal today...Every time I write something someone writes back to me..."

"Oh, Liziii..."

"Whaaat?!"

"IT'S VOLDY!"

"Really?!"

"Yes!"

"What should I write then?"

"I know what you did last summer."

"ooo good..."

"Or just talk about Sailor Moon or something..."

"Mmkay, let me try that.."

"What'd he say?"

"He...ran away screaming."

"Touchie fella, eh?"

"Yeah...whelp, g'night Paige!"

"Night, Lizi!" 


End file.
